[video]

[original_fine]

[Backdated to the weekend, from this log: The angle is perfect hero perspective, looking up at his defiant chin and golden profile. Jim does not seem to care to whom he is speaking.]

Captain's log: What we need is a leader. Someone unafraid to walk into the darkness. Someone willing to stand up to injustice. Someone who can unite the people into one unified force, for goodness and mercy and the rights of every individual.

I'm Captain James Tiberius Kirk, and I'm getting us out of here.

Comments

[video]

[game_over_man]

And what the fuck happens when you do try, huh? Birds fall from the sky, nubile co-eds throw panties at you?

[Have a disparaging look. Looks like the last thing you wrestled was a buffet, there, hunka burnin' love.]

Right. Officers. Fight. [What army are you in? Oh right, the crazy one.]

[video]

[original_fine]

Why would I want to kill birds? When I try, birds back me up in beautiful harmony. The panty thing just happens anyway.

And I don't know what you're talking about. Of course I fight. Well. Only when there are no other options. I abhor violence unless it's a last resort. Though when it is... I sure so take a healthy satisfaction in exercising my physical prowess.

[video] brb dying laughing

[game_over_man]

Beautiful...harmony?

[WTF. Srsly. W. T. Actual. F.]

And they let you command anything other than the fuckin' Peace Train?

[video]

[original_fine]

Hey mister. I command the flagship of the United Federation of Planets. I don't know what a Peace Train is, but...

Well maybe it's something like that. I love peace. The idea that Man can rise above his barbaric origins and make the choice not to harm one another. That's what I believe in.

[video]

[game_over_man]

Right, so you're on some sort of mission to spread peace and flowers and harmony across the planets.

[If Hudson eyerolled any harder, his head would fall off.]

And how's that ideal work when you run into bugs, huh?

[video]

[original_fine]

No, not flowers. That would contaminate the native species of whatever planet we were on. Harmony, though, I can get behind.

Bugs. I... Well of course I try not to kill anything but mosquitoes don't really count, right?

[video]

[game_over_man]

Contaminate. Yeah, right. Not really a concern we have, pal. We 'exterminate'.

[He snickers at his own wit. SO FUNNY.]

...what the fuck kind of pissant aliens you deal with?

[video]

[original_fine]

Some of my best friends are aliens, buddy. Watch out.

[video]

[game_over_man]

Yeah, pal, your aliens ain't my aliens. Trust me.

[A nervous rub over his sternum. Yeah, still trying hard not to think about that.]

[video]

[original_fine]

That's hardly any reason for bigotry and hatred.

[video]

[game_over_man]

Bigotry and hatr--what?

You know what calls for fuckin' bigotry? That every time I met a goddam alien it was trying to fuckin' kill me!

[Excuse the classy language, sir.]

[video]

[original_fine]

Watch your tone with me, young man. People can't respect what you say when you use language like that. It's unfortunate your experiences have been negative, but if peoples would just approach one another with understanding, these things could be avoided. I don't get along with Klingons very well, but I honor our agreements and treaties.

[video]

[game_over_man]

[Just....an open mouthed stare for a moment. Did you just lecture him about his salty language?]

Yeah, okay, sir. Next time I run into some acid-blood having murdermachine, I'll ask it to tea and fingersandwiches. See how that works out.

[video]

[original_fine]

[Jim beams at him proudly.]

Good man. You see? It can't help having acid for blood. There are all kinds of life in this universe. And... all the other ones. Maybe it just wants to protect its children.