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dropped: gaheris rhade

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[Rhade sounds a little distant when he speaks. Less forceful than usual, because he's having a What is the point? moment. His tone is a little cracked and weary, even.]

If anyone sees Kara Thrace, please inform her her that I liberated one of her bottles of alcohol from her new living establishment. If anyone sees Diziet Sma? -Well. You're not going to. She's back in her pod aboard the ship to last until the power gives out, anyway.

I would recommend if anyone who woke up in the ship has recently disappeared, you go and look for them there. It may be a sign of further malfunction.

[And he shuts off the feed.]

*OOC: Early before the windstorm on Wednesday, before the fire has started.

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Most of a bottle of whatever engine fluid that was that Kara makes will do that to you.

[He doesn't know what to make of Gaheris' long, lingering look. Maybe it wasn't anything, just Gaheris lost in drunken thought for a few seconds. Although it's such an odd expression, not usually one he sees on Gaheris' face, that he wonders what it is he's thinking about.

Then Gaheris calls him obtuse and he snorts a laugh.]

That's what I've got you for, to notice the things I don't.

She's going to get us home with that. You wait and see. We'll fix her ship, and then that will work. Unless that thin man I gave my boneblade to manages it.

[But all his boneblades are there.]

You gave your boneblades to someone? But...you have them. I see them.

[He opens his mouth to say something, and then clamps it shut. At least he finally lets go of Dylan, reaching out to prop himself up using the wall instead. He's steady enough to walk this way fine.]

You're somewhere you don't want to be, in another situation you don't want to be in. When you're fixing a mistake I made. ...It seems like a small price to pay even if the scheme is as ludicrous as anything else around here.

[Dylan watches Gaheris take a few steps on his own.]

You don't need to be so damn independent all the time. [And he claims Gaheris' arm again and puts it over his shoulder.]

Thank you for giving up a boneblade. Although you could have told me about it sooner. [Damn secretive Nietzscheans.]

I broke it. It was useless anyway. [Dismissively, as he's pulled back to Dylan.]

You don't have to be, either. Not everything is your responsibility. I'm not. I got myself drunk. I broke my boneblade. I walked out into the Wasteland. I joined the military. I joined the insurrection. I agreed to be your best man knowing what I was going to do. I knew you were... too trusting...

[He didn't call him dumb this time, at least. He trails off, frowning. And then his expression again.]

Look at how many times you've survived me. It's no wonder that I-

[And again, trailing off. But this time with a hard swallow.]

Of course you're my responsibility. You're part of my crew. More than that, you're my friend. When you're in danger or hurt or making stupid decisions, I'm going to be concerned.

You weren't really trying to kill me. If you were I'd be dead. [He knows this suddenly, like he once knew that the Vedran Admiral's signature was false. Knows it like it's an indisputable fact.] I think, in your own insane Nietzschean way, you were trying to warn me about my own stupid decisions.

They're still my decisions. [He rests more firmly against Dylan, then, though, as if that bit of observation finally saw something that he needed to notice. A small obvious thing that he'd been hoping Dylan wouldn't be blind to.

The Commonwealth made Rhade a murderer. Conflict is in his genes, and education taught him brutality. But he spoke at Dylan instead of killing him- it had been obvious to him since the moment he heard it.]

I picked you over me.

And it's my decision to be concerned about your decisions. [And Gaheris was accepting Dylan's help now instead of pulling away. So at least a part of Gaheris must be okay with Dylan giving him a hand.]

I thought Nietzscheans didn't do that. Altruism. It's not evolutionarily useful or something.

[Okay in the way that he's using it as an excuse to sap comfort out of him like a needy sponge. He looks up at Dylan.]

We don't.

[He's halfway between saying it, wanting Dylan to figure it out just to prove that he could see why Rhade is so upset over the abrupt absence of his friends, over the idea of potentially losing him too, and thinking Dylan was happier not knowing.]

Edited (NO MAH TENSES) 2012-05-30 06:38 (UTC)

O-kay. So...either it wasn't altruism or you're not a Nietzschean. And neither of those are the case...

[It's like one of those paradoxical logic problems, where nothing turns out to be true.]

Do Nietzscheans ever consider just saying what they mean?

Yes. I have been. [He's awkwardly silent for a moment.]

I don't know why I did it. [That part is completely honest. He just has theories, ideas that make sense, evidence fact-checked in his own mind.]

Let's go home. [And he's trying to push off again to walk with determination.]

[Dylan sighs. That's the problem with it happening in Gaheris' future. Dylan can ask about what Gaheris planned to do, but neither of them can know for sure what exactly was going through Gaheris mind at that moment when he started firing in his direction, because for this Gaheris here, it hasn't happened. And may never happen.]

Right. Home.

[Maybe he'll understand what Gaheris is trying to say after he's had time to ponder it.]

[He would probably tell him to the best of his ability after they got there. Or ineptly show him.

Because Dylan was wrong. Pessimism would help him live tonight like he wouldn't have a chance to tomorrow.]

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