003 ⌥ VIDEO -- saturday night

[femshep]

[And here's Shepard, out in the fog but you can tell she's walking briskly (presumably back toward the Flop) by the slight rhythmic sway of the camera. But she has SOMETHING IMPORTANT TO SAY, so listen up.]

If you hear this, you need to get inside and keep your door shut. There's something in this fog--the residents are all clearing the streets, and I think I saw a few putting on gas masks.

I repeat, if you hear this, you need to-... [A pause in which keeping a straight face seems difficult, and then she's busting up laughing.] You need to put on a skirt and stand on your head or something, because shit, I don't get why the hell you all listen to me, anyway. [By 'listen to' she means 'generally take orders from', and she distinctly remembers it making sense an hour ago, but now she's had an epiphany and it's fantastic.

Meanwhile, she tames the laughter down to an ecstatic grin, and in a tone that probably definitely makes you wonder what she's planning next and if you should duck and cover, she offers just two words:]

Shepard out.

[End transmission.]

Comments

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[relativistic]

oh my god are you possessed or some shit

mind control??? mind fuck??? what's going on

text forever

[femshep]

[since all of her shit-losing is out loud, texting isn't quite so bad]

said it's the fog, didn't i?

[a pause, then another text:]

did i? i'm sure i did

[relativistic]

bookmarking this post for great justice, or prime blackmail material

[femshep]

[Each one comes as an individual reply:]

don't do that, you asshole

i'm just

kind of discombobulated

mobbins

[audio]

[seesobserves]

[Looks like somebody missed the initial message: this reply comes about an hour later. Sherlock sounds... giddy.]

Oh, Commander Shepard...

[audio]

[femshep]

Heeeey, if it isn't our resident asshat. [So does she, but shhh.]

[audio]

[seesobserves]

Commander, Commander... how are you feeling?

[audio]

[femshep]

We can probably agree that that's a pretty stupid question, at this point.

[most_feared]

Ma'am, are you alright?

[This is not what he actually says. This sounds like bizarre chirps and whistles. He's trying to say something, but it's not this.]

[femshep]

Can't believe I'm asking this, but are you a bird?

[most_feared]

Nein.

[Good luck, Shepard. Good luck.]

voice;

[fireofunknown]

...why can't the fog do this to me?

Sound like you're havin' fun there, Shep.
[Have a chuckle, because Fox can sympathize with being stoned as hell. And of course finds that watching someone else be for a change? Very amusing.]

voice;

[femshep]

...Dammit, and here I can't even tell if you're mocking me.

voice;

[fireofunknown]

Totally not mocking. Hand of god. All I've gotten is some frizzed out hair and a cold from this fan-fucking-tastic weather.

[He snorts.]

I want what your're having!

[video]

[waspromisedcake]

[Chell smiles lazily at the camera, head tilted to the side.]

You're acting weeeeeeeeeird.

[Shepard's not the only one.]

[video] god this icon

[femshep]

[Oh god Chell, everything's beautiful and nothing hurts.

At Chell's accusation, Shepard laughs, shaking her head.]

It's the fog, I swear.

[video] derp face

[waspromisedcake]

Fog schmog. You're just a silly dilly.

[She leans back against a building, showing she's outdoors.]

I feel like dancing.

Video

[thecricketer]

[he's wandering about, naturally but he's not succumbed to the fog's effects - at least, not quite yet

so he's able to look concerned when Shepard goes a bit, well, off]

I think you ought to find shelter as well, Commander.

Video

[femshep]

[A grin!] Hey, Doctor.

Are you a real doctor?

Video

[thecricketer]

[with a crooked smile] That depends on your definition of real, honestly.

You're a real commander, yes?

[gavehislife]

Hey.

Hey.

Hey Shepard.

Get off the ground Shepard. Fucking primordial slug ooze is everywhere.

[Yes this is Stephen sitting on a rock, with his gun, looking like a cat who has been in the nip with his eyes so dilated. Probably not wise to sneak up on him. Seems he thinks the nearby vines are alive and dangerous. He's probably emptied at least on clip into them. But he snickers slightly under his breath.]

You should- You should see your face right now. I've never seen it do that.

[Yeah, he's lost it. He's on his back, back on the ground, cracking up.]

[femshep]

[She nearly cracks up just at 'hey hey hey shepard', but carefully pulls together a sort-of-straight face, lifting her chin with a 'make my day' sort of expression.

At his warning of the sludge ooze, she's actually looking down, and is more confused by the fact that there isn't any than she would've been if there were.]

Shit's invisible. [But then he's falling off the rock (he was on a rock before, right? she can't remember), and he's cracking up, and while it's so hard not to just crack up too, she's socially obligated to chew him out for laughing at her. Or something.]

'Course you haven't, asshole. [But it's the kind of 'asshole' that's meant more in amusement than offense by far.] You don't know me, r'memeber? It was all some big crazy island dream back in the goddamn pod with shooting shit and-... and owls and shit.

[gavehislife]

Don't tell me who I don't know. Must've gone back in an anomaly and changed something like Cutter did. Everyone thought he was crazy too. But I'm not. I'm completely sane!

[Which would be a lot more convincing if he was not failing so much at pulling himself back up off the ground and batting at his arms occasionally.]

Bloody slugs are everywhere. Get to higher ground, Shepard! Better yet. Meet up. We can take them easier together.

[video]

[buckingauthority]

Okay, so did everyone take crazy happy pills or something when I wasn't looking? Contaminated the water supply?

[She's just teasing. She heard about the fog, but she feels fine. At least right now she does.]

If it's the fog that's doing this? It's hitting people different ways, and some of us not at all.

[video]

[femshep]

No, yeah, you should definitely stay inside. It's bad for you. Really. [But she's totally grinning, despite that she's trying to sound serious.]