outer_divide | 003 ⌥ VIDEO -- saturday night

[And here's Shepard, out in the fog but you can tell she's walking briskly (presumably back toward the Flop) by the slight rhythmic sway of the camera. But she has SOMETHING IMPORTANT TO SAY, so listen up.]

If you hear this, you need to get inside and keep your door shut. There's something in this fog--the residents are all clearing the streets, and I think I saw a few putting on gas masks.

I repeat, if you hear this, you need to-... [A pause in which keeping a straight face seems difficult, and then she's busting up laughing.] You need to put on a skirt and stand on your head or something, because shit, I don't get why the hell you all listen to me, anyway. [By 'listen to' she means 'generally take orders from', and she distinctly remembers it making sense an hour ago, but now she's had an epiphany and it's fantastic.

Meanwhile, she tames the laughter down to an ecstatic grin, and in a tone that ~~probably~~ definitely makes you wonder what she's planning next and if you should duck and cover, she offers just two words:]

Shepard out.

[End transmission.]

Threaded | Top-Level Comments Only

oh my god are you possessed or some shit mind control??? mind fuck??? what's going on

[since all of her shit-losing is out loud, texting isn't quite so bad]

said it's the fog, didn't i?

[a pause, then another text:]

did i? i'm sure i did

[Looks like somebody missed the initial message: this reply comes about an hour later. Sherlock sounds... giddy.]

Oh, Commander Shepard...

Heeeey, if it isn't our resident asshat. [So does she, but shhh.]

Commander, Commander... how are you feeling?

We can probably agree that that's a pretty stupid question, at this point.

[He makes a noise like a buzzer on a game show.] Eeeh. Wrong. Don't try again.

Really, how is it a few hours on? Still riding high?

Ma'am, are you alright?

[This is not what he actually says. This sounds like bizarre chirps and whistles. He's trying to say something, but it's not this.]

...why can't the fog do this to me?

Sound like you're havin' fun there, Shep.
[Have a chuckle, because Fox can sympathize with being stoned as hell. And of course finds that watching someone else be for a change? Very amusing.]

[...did he just honk at her? She's pretty sure he just honked at her, and this is amusing as fuck so she's snorting a suppressed laugh.]

Deeeeefinitely something like that.

[Chell smiles lazily at the camera, head tilted to the side.]

You're acting weeeeeeeeeird.

[Shepard's not the only one.]

Can't believe I'm asking this, but are you a bird?

...Dammit, and here I can't even tell if you're mocking me.

[Oh god Chell, everything's beautiful and nothing hurts.

At Chell's accusation, Shepard laughs, shaking her head.]

It's the fog, I swear.

[And she just snorted. Sherlock straight-out laughs... almost. He manages to keep his mouth closed around it until the very end.]

Drugged fog. Now that's far more humane than I anticipated.

[...and then it hits her. For all of five seconds she sounds utterly serious.]

Shit, are we under attack?! We need to-... [Need to what? Oh god is her brain foggy right now, which would normally serve to frustrate her but now it's just making her ADHD.] Y'know, I don't even know, actually. [She sounds amused again.]

Well, of course we are. [By contrast, he is giving absolutely No Fucks about it.] You're not about to tell me this sort of thing is naturally occurring?

[Although, imagine if it were.] Oh, God. Wouldn't that be heaven.

[She only gave fucks because fifteen years of military has her profoundly well-trained to give fucks.] Hell if I know. S'not like this'd be the weirdest shit I've seen.

[To the 'heaven' comment, she's just grinning, it doesn't quite occur to her that he can't see it. Not that she'd want him to anyway, she's pretty sure her contract says she's supposed to dislike him or something.]

Fog schmog. You're just a silly dilly.

[She leans back against a building, showing she's outdoors.]

I feel like dancing.

Oh yes, because you're all masters of weird shit here. Aliens and telepathy and little blue Smurfs, for all I know. Tell me all about the weird shit, Commander.

Hey, just aliens here. Hearing what goes on in everyone's heads? That'd drive me nuts.

Y'know? Me too. But shit, I can't dance. [She's been told this plenty of times, by both strangers and friends alike.]

[he's wandering about, naturally but he's not succumbed to the fog's effects - at least, not quite yet

so he's able to look concerned when Shepard goes a bit, well, off]

I think you ought to find shelter as well, Commander.

Nein.

[Good luck, Shepard. Good luck.]

You would think so.

[His voice gets quieter, more distant. He's talking more to himself than her.]

You would think so, at first. All those voices chattering away inside your mind, no room to think for yourself... Imagine if you couldn't control it. Drowning in other people's thoughts. You would have to go out of your mind eventually. Either that or grow accustomed to it.

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003 ⌥ VIDEO -- saturday night

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