outer_divide | [Video, Wednesday afternoon]

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[Video, Wednesday afternoon]

[The shot opens on a slightly harried-looking Todd, who is still grinning a little bit, despite looking harried.]

Hey, so. Anybody got any ideas on how best to feed something like, uh... these?

[And now the camera swings aside to show two roly-poly andrewsarchus cubs, each about the size of a sheepdog, one tawny with darker stripes and one dark with lighter brindling. They're within a circled fence made of broken tree branches and rocks, but it looks like they might climb out at any minute. It's not a very tall fence.]

I've been tryin' birds and frogs and fish. And bugs, too, since that's what I'm best at, yo. Even tried some rice, but they didn't like that so much. Anybody know somethin' that'll stuff their faces for more than a couple hours? And, uh, maybe some better way of holding 'em in....

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What...

What did you do.

[Pietro rests his head in his hands, sounding defeated. He looks like crap, too. Bony and pale and... he's definitely sick again.]

Besides not stay out of trouble, like I told you.

What? I took backup this time!

[He looks proud of himself, like this is something praiseworthy. The expression quite quickly deflates into something a bit more guilty, though, when he admits:]

We, uh, kind of killed their mom? So I couldn't just leave them there, ya know?

[He didn't feel bad killing them when he didn't know there were babies. But with babies, well. That's just not right, okay?]

[Endure a bit of s short circuit as Kurt performs a sort of beaming squeak.]

They're so cuuuute!

[Ahem.]

Um, they look like babies, right? So their mom would probably tear up their food for them, or even digest it halfway first, because animals are gross, ja? So Maybe whatever you feed them you should tear up into little bits. Und get it wet. Babies usually like that. Milk is good, too.

[Hee, they're fuzzy.]

Toad... you...

You know what? Fine, whatever. Enjoy yourself. I've got too damn much of a headache to be assed right now.

What?

[He glares a little at the screen.]

Nobody got hurt, really. Except the mom monster. I had Thero and Jim and that kid with the exploding marbles. It's not like I went and got myself hurt in some kind of stupid... attack thing. Like some people.

[No, he doesn't know any details. But he knows there was an attack, and Pietro got hurt in it. So at least he's better off there!]

[Todd smirks at Kurt.]

Shoulda known you'd like 'em. The fuzzballs should stick together, right?

[Then, more serious, almost thoughtful. He's actually kinda-sorta trying, here. How amazing is that?]

So, tear up whatever I got and, uh, get it wet? Dunno if we've got any milk out here, that might be kinda hard to come by. But there's a lake, so I guess I can handle wet.

The fuzzballs do! That and I did grow up in the country. In total isolation to avoid being burned at the stake. All my friends were fuzzy.

[He considers a moment.]

And cooking the meat a little might help. They do just have little baby digestive systems.

Oh geez. I'm, uh, not so good at cooking things.

[He looks very dubious about that, and looks over his shoulder at the babies.]

Guess I'll give it a try, though. You got any bright ideas for the cage thing? Cuz they got out a couple times and got the rest of the camp pretty mad at me.

Heyheyhey! They attacked us! I didn't go looking for trouble.

Well, cooking as in... boiling it a while until it's warm and soft. Like baby food. You know, like the strained peas in little jars?

[He gives the question some thought, but he's not that great at mechanical problems.]

See if you can give them a little bit of a roof? Like... criss-crossed sticks and stuff.

[He might be familiar with how to keep very rambunctious little fuzzy things in the playpen. From the inside.]

I didn't, either! I found it totally on accident, then just, uh. Went back. With back-up. And I still didn't get hurt.

[So there. Jerk. And really, by "hurt" he means, "not badly". He did get kind of scratches up, a bit, but not enough to even show.]

Oh for the love of -

[Abby slaps her forehead and sighs.] You're really serious about keepin' those things, ain'tcha? Numbuh Five thought you'd come to your senses after the last time they got out.

[She rolls her eyes.] Hang tight. I'll go get some supplies and help you build a real cage. [Back to damage control, then. Just like home.]

You ain't never seen these guys bite somethin', have ya?

[Obviously not.]

Guess I'll try that, too, though. Anythin' to keep that hunter lady from shouting at me again. I seriously thought she was gonna pull a Mystique or somethin' and turn all big and monster-y, herself!

Uh-huh. Yeah. Whatever. Look, I'm still not baby-sitting or anything. So just keep them from eating anybody - including you - and I'll look the other way.

[He shoots her a grin through the network, looking somewhere between surprised and relieved at the offer.]

Yeah, sorry, they're still orphans! Maybe I can pawn 'em off on somebody back at the city, but here, we're all they got, right?

[Todd's serious about orphans, but that's probably about the only thing he is serious on. And it's possible it won't last until they get home, too.]

Thanks, bro.

[He grumbles it, so the gratitude is probably about as sincere as Pietro's well-wishes.]

No, but baby teeth and baby bodies aren't up to the same food as grown ups, and they're fuzzy, which means they get milk for at least a little while.

[Sigh.]

Und I'd like to apologize for the crazy people I'm related to...

Well, this is a bit more serious than Stanley was. At least he wasn't likely to eat somebody! Still... that kid turned out to be one of our best operatives.

[She has her doubts about these baby animals, though.]

Just keep an eye on them 'til I get over there!

How much bigger are those things going to get?

[Todd tries to reply by text, he really does. It just turns into a frustrated keymash after a minute, though.]

i dunno mayb as tpll as paoinhroinh

[Then he switches back to video.]

The biggest on was, like, as tall as Thero. Taller. So... taller than a tall guy, but not by much.

[How's that for specific, Clint?]

Yeah, yeah, nobody's goin' anywhere. Are you guys?

[So maybe he's not as smitten as Kurt obviously is, but there some fondness there. Exasperated fondness, but still.

And that's where he's at when she shows up, trying to put branches over the top of his low fence. The baby andrewsarchuses keep trying to pull them down and chew on them, though.]

Uh. Well, it's no big deal. I mean, it's not like it's you're fault, or anything.

[Uncomfortable moment, broken by one of the critters squealing and starting to gnaw on the tree-branch part of the fencing. Todd looks over his shoulder and hurries over-- taking the phone with him-- to try and separate teeth from wood.]

Anyway. I meant the branches on top, not the meat. They keep tryin' to chew on the fence bits. So I'm not too worried about meat.

And you want to keep them as pets?

Can you get anything that tastes bad? Really hot pepper sauce will usually do it, but I bet they don't have anything like that out there. Though the plants here are weird. Maybe one of the locals could show you?

[Kurt's childhood dog was a chewer in her puppyhood. ...So was Kurt.]

No. I wanna make sure they don't die, since we killed their mom. Okay?

[He's also defensive. He's really, really used to people telling him he's doing something stupid-- especially when he is.]

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