outer_divide | [Video, Wednesday afternoon]

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[Video, Wednesday afternoon]

[The shot opens on a slightly harried-looking Todd, who is still grinning a little bit, despite looking harried.]

Hey, so. Anybody got any ideas on how best to feed something like, uh... these?

[And now the camera swings aside to show two roly-poly andrewsarchus cubs, each about the size of a sheepdog, one tawny with darker stripes and one dark with lighter brindling. They're within a circled fence made of broken tree branches and rocks, but it looks like they might climb out at any minute. It's not a very tall fence.]

I've been tryin' birds and frogs and fish. And bugs, too, since that's what I'm best at, yo. Even tried some rice, but they didn't like that so much. Anybody know somethin' that'll stuff their faces for more than a couple hours? And, uh, maybe some better way of holding 'em in....

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[Endure a bit of s short circuit as Kurt performs a sort of beaming squeak.]

They're so cuuuute!

[Ahem.]

Um, they look like babies, right? So their mom would probably tear up their food for them, or even digest it halfway first, because animals are gross, ja? So Maybe whatever you feed them you should tear up into little bits. Und get it wet. Babies usually like that. Milk is good, too.

[Hee, they're fuzzy.]

[Todd smirks at Kurt.]

Shoulda known you'd like 'em. The fuzzballs should stick together, right?

[Then, more serious, almost thoughtful. He's actually kinda-sorta trying, here. How amazing is that?]

So, tear up whatever I got and, uh, get it wet? Dunno if we've got any milk out here, that might be kinda hard to come by. But there's a lake, so I guess I can handle wet.

The fuzzballs do! That and I did grow up in the country. In total isolation to avoid being burned at the stake. All my friends were fuzzy.

[He considers a moment.]

And cooking the meat a little might help. They do just have little baby digestive systems.

Oh geez. I'm, uh, not so good at cooking things.

[He looks very dubious about that, and looks over his shoulder at the babies.]

Guess I'll give it a try, though. You got any bright ideas for the cage thing? Cuz they got out a couple times and got the rest of the camp pretty mad at me.

Well, cooking as in... boiling it a while until it's warm and soft. Like baby food. You know, like the strained peas in little jars?

[He gives the question some thought, but he's not that great at mechanical problems.]

See if you can give them a little bit of a roof? Like... criss-crossed sticks and stuff.

[He might be familiar with how to keep very rambunctious little fuzzy things in the playpen. From the inside.]

You ain't never seen these guys bite somethin', have ya?

[Obviously not.]

Guess I'll try that, too, though. Anythin' to keep that hunter lady from shouting at me again. I seriously thought she was gonna pull a Mystique or somethin' and turn all big and monster-y, herself!

No, but baby teeth and baby bodies aren't up to the same food as grown ups, and they're fuzzy, which means they get milk for at least a little while.

[Sigh.]

Und I'd like to apologize for the crazy people I'm related to...

Uh. Well, it's no big deal. I mean, it's not like it's you're fault, or anything.

[Uncomfortable moment, broken by one of the critters squealing and starting to gnaw on the tree-branch part of the fencing. Todd looks over his shoulder and hurries over-- taking the phone with him-- to try and separate teeth from wood.]

Anyway. I meant the branches on top, not the meat. They keep tryin' to chew on the fence bits. So I'm not too worried about meat.

Can you get anything that tastes bad? Really hot pepper sauce will usually do it, but I bet they don't have anything like that out there. Though the plants here are weird. Maybe one of the locals could show you?

[Kurt's childhood dog was a chewer in her puppyhood. ...So was Kurt.]

I'll ask around. Though it does keep 'em from chewing on my shoes, so maybe I just need to, like. Find them a bone or somethin'. Like a dog.

Ja, probably can't get twisty rawhide strips and pig's ears. Bones would probably be best.

Guess I'll see what I can do. There's not a lot of big animals, except....

[He pauses, looking somewhere between amused and grossed out.]

Well, 'cept their parents. That'd be kind of gross, though.

That's weird, ja. But if there's animals that big, they have to eat something else. Jut find the big lunch.

And catch it how? I ain't exactly very big, bro.

[Todd does not really know how to hunt. A couple lessons with the guys from the Old City here do not a practiced hunter make, especially as they have been cut off now that he's on baby-sitting duty. The thought of using his fancy ray guns on them has not occured yet, lucky for the forest.]

I meant, you know, there should be some big bones around. Oh, and those big deer? Dogs love chewing on antlers. I bet big antlers would make them happy.

[He's getting into this project.]

Oh, right. You know, I bet those antlers would work really well on the cage, too! Thanks, bro.

[He's looking a lot more positive about the whole thing now. Having an encouraging face helps a lot, you know!]

Sounds like you've got this in hand. Just watch your fingers. And, uh, limbs. Teething in a mouth that size sounds rough.

Yeah, I found that out already, with the whole "eating tree branches" thing. I'll be careful! Oh. And smack Pietro for me, wouldja? He was a jerk about the whole thing.

If he doesn't see me coming, I guess. Not too hard, though. He's still kind of hurt. Jut a little smacking.

Yeah, yeah. Not too hard. Just enough to tell him he was a jerk. Here's hopin' I get to come back soon, though. I'm gettin' kinda sick of lakes and tents and stuff.

Ja, you're missing out on the wonderful world of blank walls and crabby people we have back here.

Yeah, but there's at least roofs and, y'know, more crabby people than there are here. And places to explore that don't have things that're gonna eat me in them.

I hope not, anyway. I'd be really annoyed if something ate me while I went for a climb in town.

Heh. Yeah, that'd suck. Don't think you gotta worry about it, though. At least not until I bring these things home.

Und they probably aren't very good at climbing, so you and me will be okay, anyway.

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[Video, Wednesday afternoon]

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