[Video]

[girlinasquirrelsuit]

[The image is a bit off center and wobbly, as Kit's communicator has taken roughly the same form as her radio ring and she's not used to having a video camera on her hand yet. Still, the redhead in the hooded mask and goggles is basically visible. And looks generally irritated.]

Okay. So I kinda get this alternate worlds thing. I hate them, but I get it. I've had this problem before. But when I've run up against some other universe, it's been a different take on the world I know. Up is purple and sandwiches have corned beef on the outside or what have you, but the people and the history I know are there, if screwy. This? This is not that.

So, is anyone there? Boss, I'm sure you'd have found me already, but just in case. Doctor C? John? Grey Fox? Heck, I'll take Baboon McSmoothie. ...Don't take that as too much of a compliment, Man of a Thousand Faces. It just means I'll only break nine hundred and seventy of them if you annoy me.

...And yes, maybe I did just announce myself to any of costumed goonie birds and Rotzi thugs, if they're around. To you I say, neener neener neener, you've never got me before and you won't now. Squirrel out.

Comments

[unofficial_ambassador]

I'm sorry, but I don't think any of the things you've just named are here.

[girlinasquirrelsuit]

See, that's what I didn't so much wanna hear, but I figured I'd go ahead and ask.

[unofficial_ambassador]

At least there aren't any . . . costumed birds? This place seems to be a far cry from what anyone from the ship has ever seen.

[girlinasquirrelsuit]

Really? No super villains at all? Gee, don't know what I'll do with myself.

[unofficial_ambassador]

I don't know if I'd go that far. I wasn't here eight hours before someone tried to kill me. But likely none that you would know.

[girlinasquirrelsuit]

Oh, good, there are still ugly mugs that need smashin'. Well, I suppose it'd be better if there weren't, but I'd sure be outta a job.

[unofficial_ambassador]

[There is a short pause as she tries to make sense of that]

Is that what you do? Punch birds?

[girlinasquirrelsuit]

Ah, Christmas.

[Fancy looking ladies. Pfft.]

Goonie birds. Crazy nutbars. Loonies. The ones who dress up like circus clowns and rob banks with a gimmick. Sometimes they even get somethin' done, though mostly me an' the Boss nip that kinda initiative in the bud real quick.

[unofficial_ambassador]

Oh. Yes. I'm familiar with the sort of people you mean, I think.

[Maybe not the gimmick, unless 'angry former revolutionary' counted]

You might be able to get a similar job here in town.

[kettchmeifyoucan]

This is a bit of an alternate take on alternate universes. More kidnapping involved.

[girlinasquirrelsuit]

Yeah, see, that part doesn't even surprise me. I sure as heck didn't come over on purpose for a picnic.

[kettchmeifyoucan]

A shame. The local wildlife is just what you'd want around for a picnic.

[A brief pause]

Seriously, be careful if you go past the farmlands.

[girlinasquirrelsuit]

What're we talkin'? I heard somethin' about sabre-toothed tigers, and I hate those things.

[kettchmeifyoucan]

A lot of dinosaurs. Most of the other humans expected them to be just as extinct as I did.

[girlinasquirrelsuit]

Okay, y'know what? This is apparently things the Flying Squirrel Hates Universe. Stupid dinosaurs. Tell me they aren't psychically controlled and enhanced with a lotta occult-science gobbledygook?

[kettchmeifyoucan]

Well, good news on that front. They're just regular dinosaurs. Unless something's really changed recently. Can't exclude that possibility.

[girlinasquirrelsuit]

Just the regular prehistoric scaley fangbeasts. I can work with that!

[video]

[hypospraying]

Squirrel? Is that a... codename?

[girlinasquirrelsuit]

See, that's another thing that makes me figure I ain't in Kansas anymore. The boss and me are pretty big names. The other worlds I know about usually have The Red Panda and The Flying Squirrel, though in one of them I was a fifteen-year-old boy. Pah, sidekicking. Not for me.

[hypospraying]

We're definitely all far from home. Sorry, I haven't heard of you or the Red Panda, but I'm Christine, and I can answer questions about this place. Well, depending on the question. I came from a pod in the Ship, and there's plenty here that's confusing.

[girlinasquirrelsuit]

Good to know I'm not the only one confused. Me an' the Boss are one of the bigger names in crime-fighting, definitely the best known in Canada these days. Most of the Mystery Men are on the young side, after a couple Nazi agents knocked off most of the Super Service.

[hypospraying]

Well I definitely know about Canada and one of us here is from Vancouver. Nazis are from a couple hundred years in my world's past, though.

[girlinasquirrelsuit]

I hate, hate, hate time travel...

Vancouver's a nice city, though. Grey Fox's territory. Should look him up.

[Trying to find the positive.]

[hypospraying]

[She lets out a soft laugh.]

Preaching to the choir. We just got back from unwillingly traveling through time and this place is different than how we left it as a result.

[girlinasquirrelsuit]

We managed to not do that the one time I was in on the trip. Boss has a theory that we were already in the past an' that's why the present's the way it is. But it's still a lousy way to spend a day.