[voice;; monday afternoon]

[barelydead]

Hi. [ _{he's not sure what to say, so he goes with regulation; he clears his throat, his tone going official.} ]

My name is James T. Kirk, and I'm Captain of the Federation starship USS Enterprise, [ _{he falters:} ] not that that... really matters here, I guess. [ _{a half-hearted attempt to return to sounding official:} ] I got here- "woke up" --roughly two nights ago, and, [ _{and it falls apart.} ] I've gotta say, for a city in the middle of what was reportedly a bountiful forest, I'm feeling underwhelmed by the cuisine here. Is there any place around here to get something good? I'll eat just about anything, I just [ _{he laughs quietly.} ] ...can't cook. I can hunt if I have to, but I'd rather go with someone until I learn the basic lay of the land.

Mm, and while I'm here, I need to get a job or something or I'm going to go insane, so if anyone needs a fully-trained starship captain...? I'm your man.

Thanks. [ _{awkwardly, because he's not sure how to end this transmission:} ] Kirk out.

Comments

[Text/Video]

[frostedoverland]

[The video is on, shaking a little as though someone was holding it but nothing is probably seen if Kirk doesn't believe!]

How is a space captain unable to cook food?

[barelydead]

[ _{he stares at the empty video for a moment.} ]

i dont have to cook because we have replicators.

[ _{he usually doesn't have to type manually either.} ]

[frostedoverland]

[Yeah, get used to it. He just wants to see when/if someone sees him or not.]

Even at home?

[barelydead]

i usually get takeout or something

[frostedoverland]

Really? Never interested in learning how to make even soup?

[barelydead]

i can make sandwiches

[ _{that tone ain't cool, man} ]

[frostedoverland]

So go make a sandwich. I'm sure you can even find a cookbook while you're at the store. C'mon, no one should go without eating, man.

[barelydead]

im not going without eating. i just dont know how to cook.

[frostedoverland]

[he feels like a broken record now. How many times does he need to say to go learn to cook?]

So learn. Can't be that hard and it won't cost you as much from what I hear.

[barelydead]

[ _{SO FRUSTRATED.} ]

i can try? it just didnt seem like something useful to focus on right now considering im trapped on an alien planet.

[frostedoverland]

You're not the only one trapped here. And since you don't know how long you'll be here, the best thing you can do is try to survive. You can get the normal necessities pretty easily enough though. Food and clothes and whatnot like on Earth, I'm sure a bunch of the places are hiring so it shouldn't take long to find a job.

Cooking is always useful. [He just never needed. Not anymore, anyway. But he knows what it's like to starve. Learning to cook is essential.]

[barelydead]

[ _{hrjgkldfhgljkjdfs is basically his chief emotion right now, but at least he found the comma button.} ]

i know that, thats why i made the transmission. i was just looking for something a little better than toasted or burnt everything.

[frostedoverland]

Well yeah but don't starship captains like... know what to do when on other planets and stuff? I wouldn't think making a transmission asking for food and a job would be very uh... captain like.

[barelydead]

[ _{oh you did NOT JUST} ]

yes i know what to do. i can make it edible but that doesnt mean good. just for posteritys sake i feel i should add that were taught how to survive in extreme climes without a chance at finding civilization until rescue and being trapped in a huge bubble with a fully formed city isnt really on the docket. im not asking for food, im asking for something a little better than just edible.

anything else? or did i miss something?

[ _{SO THERE.} ]

[frostedoverland]

So you were trained to only make food edible even in extreme climates but never thought to learn to make actual food that tastes better than just edible. You know, for times that don't involve being on an extreme climate without a chance for finding civilization.

Yup, I think you got everything. Good job, captain.

[So there, indeed~]

[barelydead]

im kind of busy doing my job and all, and there arent a whole lot of ovens on a starship. replicators kind of make that whole cooking for yourself for funsies thing pointless.

[frostedoverland]

So, what, your entire life was one big job and no room for funsies at all? That sounds boring. Sounds like you need a snow day over there at your starship thing.

[barelydead]

considering i get to see new planets on the daily, no it definitely has room for fun.

[frostedoverland]

And before you were seeing new planets on the daily? Or was that all job oriented too?

[barelydead]

that was mostly either going to school or existing on bar burgers

[frostedoverland]

How can you eat the same thing over and over? Did you forget what home cooked meals taste like? I haven't eaten in like, 200 years and I remember it.

[barelydead]

my stepdad didnt cook and my mom was rarely on planet.

[ _{this is dangerous territory, evidenced by the message that's sent a good minute after this one.} ]

so yeah, i guess you could say i forgot.

[frostedoverland]

[Well, Jack knows shitty parents when he sees them. Or hears about them. But he's not going to say anything about them. Even then, kids tended to be protective and he wasn't sure if this guy still had issues or not.]

Still never too late to learn, kiddo.

[barelydead]

yeah, okay. were done here.

[frostedoverland]

Wow, you really don't want to cook for yourself, do you? Good luck with that.