[OPEN; VOICE]

[boygodofneuro]

[The sound pops a few times, the microphone getting jostled all over because the guy holding this communicator? Yeah, he's flipping out something fierce.]

No, no, no, this is so-- Oh man. Oh man. Every kind of not good, it's--

[Awkward, nervous chuckle.]

Help destroy the mainframe, get sucked into it. It's like living The Matrix except I'm not Neo and I--

This is one hell of a mental sock, I mean, wacky space ship, big fancy dome that screams perfect, idealized society free of worry and then all the little people trapped on the outside. Sounds like the premise to a summer blockbuster! Or a B movie on SyFy. But it's not. It's gotta be part of the illusion my brain cooked up to constantly keep the adrenaline running.

So, if I'm gonna believe Echo, Priya and Anthony about their reports on what this whole Attic thing is like, where's the constant conflict, the puzzle I keep looping through, never able to solve no matter which way I think about it...?

Oh, oh! Can I take a guess? Because it's a pretty good guess. I'm gonna keep walking down this quaint little path and I'm gonna find Boyd and his little buddy Clyde in Saunders holding Bennett hostage or something. Save the girl, they get on with the thoughtpocalypse. Let them kill Bennett again and bam! Loop stars all over again and never get to know if it saved the world because I just get to agonize over the choice again! And again! Oh man, that sounds like so much fun! Bundles-o-fun like none other! I just can't wait to feel--

I, ah, Yeah. Gonna shut up now, I think.

Comments

[femshep]

[There's a long pause as Shepard decides what to make of all of that rambling, and then (more to the others on the network than the rambler):]

Anyone mind if I shoot it?

[No, she isn't really gonna shoot him, but you probably can't tell.]

[boygodofneuro]

Hey, I take great offense to that! I'm not an it! I am a he, thank you very much. Dr. Topher Brink if you'd like to get all super specific, cranky lady.

...sorry for her. >_> sorry for her rant at sherlock, mostly.

[femshep]

[Congrats, you managed to amuse her. And she has a sort of 'alright, you win for now' tone when she offers:] Commander Shepard, Normandy SR2.

[A pause, and then:]

A doctor of what, if you don't mind me asking?

[boygodofneuro]

[There's a long bit of silence and then,]

...Cool

Uh, I mean. Nice to meet you? And doctor of...a lot of stuff. I've got a lot of degrees that would qualify me for the doctor club. But neuroscience is the big one.

[femshep]

Neuroscience. You? [She doesn't mean it as an insult, honest. She just knows a few neurosurgeons and he doesn't fit the typical bill.]

[boygodofneuro]

What? Do I not sound like the smashing intellectual type? 'Cause I assure, you, I'm the brightest bulb in the pack. Had my first PhD when I was seventeen and everything.

sorry shepard, he really just has something against you

[seesobserves]

Have you got an answer to anything that isn't 'pick up a gun?'

it's okay, he's not her favorite person either.

[femshep]

Ask me that question in person and we'll find out.

[She leaves it like that for a few seconds, then exhales a dry laugh and offers a real answer.]

Let's pretend for five minutes that your smart-ass question actually deserves a response. And let's also pretend that back in the 2180's--[Because she assumes this is sometime in the distant future, thanks to the alien ship.]--my picking up a gun didn't save the galaxy twice in a three year span.

Yes. I do have answers that don't involve putting any ammunition downwind. I kept the peace on a ship full of the ten most dangerous individuals in Citadel space. I negotiated the end of a war 290 years in the making. I talked the interstellar Council into giving the humans a seat for the first time in history.

And I also watched that same Council sit back and discuss while the Reapers invaded the galaxy. They came in without warning, without reason, and without remorse, just like the Authorities did last week. They were going to destroy everything, and the might still, but do you know what's stopped them so far?

Guns. Lots and lots of guns.

[She hadn't meant for this to become a speech, but damn it, she had a point to make to get this asshat out of her hair.]

So if you could take that high horse you're sitting on and shove it straight up your ass, I'm going to get back to keeping the rest of the group alive.

And christ, learn to take a joke.

[seesobserves]

[Sherlock actually sits back and listens to that whole thing.

And then there is a long

long

pause.]

...Oh! Oh, you're done. Got it.

[femshep]

I get it now. You're the designated smart-ass.

Good job, then. I mean it, keep up the good work.

[seesobserves]

Mmn. Good that we understand each other.