003 ⌥ VIDEO -- saturday night

[femshep]

[And here's Shepard, out in the fog but you can tell she's walking briskly (presumably back toward the Flop) by the slight rhythmic sway of the camera. But she has SOMETHING IMPORTANT TO SAY, so listen up.]

If you hear this, you need to get inside and keep your door shut. There's something in this fog--the residents are all clearing the streets, and I think I saw a few putting on gas masks.

I repeat, if you hear this, you need to-... [A pause in which keeping a straight face seems difficult, and then she's busting up laughing.] You need to put on a skirt and stand on your head or something, because shit, I don't get why the hell you all listen to me, anyway. [By 'listen to' she means 'generally take orders from', and she distinctly remembers it making sense an hour ago, but now she's had an epiphany and it's fantastic.

Meanwhile, she tames the laughter down to an ecstatic grin, and in a tone that probably definitely makes you wonder what she's planning next and if you should duck and cover, she offers just two words:]

Shepard out.

[End transmission.]

Comments

[femshep]

[She nearly cracks up just at 'hey hey hey shepard', but carefully pulls together a sort-of-straight face, lifting her chin with a 'make my day' sort of expression.

At his warning of the sludge ooze, she's actually looking down, and is more confused by the fact that there isn't any than she would've been if there were.]

Shit's invisible. [But then he's falling off the rock (he was on a rock before, right? she can't remember), and he's cracking up, and while it's so hard not to just crack up too, she's socially obligated to chew him out for laughing at her. Or something.]

'Course you haven't, asshole. [But it's the kind of 'asshole' that's meant more in amusement than offense by far.] You don't know me, r'memeber? It was all some big crazy island dream back in the goddamn pod with shooting shit and-... and owls and shit.

[gavehislife]

Don't tell me who I don't know. Must've gone back in an anomaly and changed something like Cutter did. Everyone thought he was crazy too. But I'm not. I'm completely sane!

[Which would be a lot more convincing if he was not failing so much at pulling himself back up off the ground and batting at his arms occasionally.]

Bloody slugs are everywhere. Get to higher ground, Shepard! Better yet. Meet up. We can take them easier together.

[femshep]

[God what even, something about cutting and animals? Or something. Who even knows.

Either way, uniting in the name of killing shit is an excellent plan.]

Where the hell are you?

[gavehislife]

On a rock.

[Weren't you paying attention Shepard?]

[femshep]

Roger that, ETA ten seconds. [And she means it, too. She's pretty sure she identified the area around him, so now she's sprinting in that direction for a couple of seconds before full-on biotic charging. In normal circumstances, it's not something she waves around, but she's high as a kite and biotic charging is a hell of a way to travel.

Pretty soon he can see a blur of blue. When it gets closer, that blue comes to a stop and fades to reveal Shepard, her weight dropped slightly to regain her balance but otherwise entirely intact. High as a kite, but that's not the point.

Now she's heading toward him, hauling herself up onto the rock before offering a hand to pull him upright.]

Those fuckers don't stand a chance.

[gavehislife]

[He flashes her a confident grin, once he's righted, and adjusts his grip on the assault rifle, staring down at the slithering primordial slugs only he can see, drifting in and out of the fog, just like the last time.]

Bloody bastards are everywhere. Must be an anomaly near by.

[femshep]

[She doesn't see them. Oh god, why doesn't she see them? They must've found some way into her head, so now she can't see them. Goddamn primordial bastards--]

Why the hell aren't we shooting?

[gavehislife]

[It's the fog. It's totally the fog. It's their mind wave primordial control invisibility fog. Stephen doesn't even know. He just assumes she can see them too, or they would have gotten her and eaten her up.]

Right! Let's show these slimy bastards who they are messing with.

[He shifts on the rock until they're facing opposite directions and actually bothers to take aim. When he starts firing, the bullets slice right through the sneaky bastards and into the rocks and leaves on the ground. That will show them.]

[femshep]

[So as soon as he opens fire, so does she, willing herself to see them enough that she's pretty sure she can almost make out their outlines, sneaky invisible motherfuckers that they are. So she at least kind of has something to shoot at, which is good enough for her.]

[gavehislife]

[Haha. Take that fuckers. Stephen empties an entire clip into the non-existent fuckers before he leans back against Shepard to glance over her shoulder.]

Think we got em all?

[femshep]

[When he leans back, so does she, rifle lowering to the rock beside her. With a grin:] Hell yes we did. We're a damn good team, you and I. Nobody gives us shit, nope. Not the slugs, not those fuckers in the shuttles, not the Reapers, not nobody.

[It doesn't quite occur to her to be careful what she says, how she acts. She doesn't realize he's probably reading this as 'we're best friends again' or god, maybe even 'she remembers me'. Right now she's just rolling with whatever the fuck happens, and it's hard to be careful when you spend half of your time just trying not to laugh.]

lamest forever late tag ever

[gavehislife]

[Nor does it occur to Stephen to realize that none of that is true. So yeah. He'll go ahead and assume those things, grinning right back. Just anyone try and mess with them.]

You've got that right.

ily forever

[femshep]

Hell yes I do. I'm never wrong. You should know that. [Mister I-Knew-You-In-Another-Life.]