[video]

[newguy]

[There's a bit of wavering as the image is centered on its subject. It's not complete ineptitude, but there's definitely a 'oh man, nessie?' feel to the jerking camera motions.]

Right, now, don't move--

[The subject is certainly not going to move....considering that it's dead. It looks like a triceratops, and Steve approaches it slowly.]

I got all the nutcase broadcasts--present and accounted for, yeah, no one's lying, I get it--but who's going to actually explain this thing?

Or me, you know? I'd settle for someone explaining me. Last time I checked, I wasn't supposed to have a pulse.

But then, neither were these guys.