outer_divide | Angry Pilot Rant #1

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Angry Pilot Rant #1 | Video

Right so. The first time this happened? It sucked but, you know, there was a reason. But I also didn't wake up in a stasis pod; just ended up on an unfamiliar planet.

So whoever thought this was a fun joke? It's not.

[Someone doesn't sound thrilled. At all. In fact, he sounds a cross between tired and pissed off and looks it too.

He's leaning up against something, his legs not really wanting to work for him at the moment as he tries to get his bearings.]

Someone send Cortez down here to get me. Now.

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Joker. [ It's a greeting, maybe a little too pleased (for Renegon-Shepard, anyway). What can she say? She's missed his bitching. ]

[For a moment, there's no reply. At all. In fact, Joker seems to have just frozen in place as he tries to comprehend what he's hearing and seeing.]

....Commander?

[ For a second, her brow knits in confusion, but then it hits her and it's all she can do not to scowl. ]

When you last saw me, was I blonde?

[ Because so help her god if this isn't her Joker she's going to put holes in shit with her fist. ]

You--what?

Blonde?

[He frowns, his wits starting to come back to him.]

You were definitely a red head. But the last time I saw you, you were getting ready to make the final push to get to the Citadel and stop the Reapers. After that...things kind of exploded.

[So you'll have to understand his confusion at you being here. And alive.]

[ oh thank god. ]

It's a valid question, in this place. Give it a few hours, you'll figure out why.

[ She may deal with her double but she's sure as hell not ready to introduce Blondie to her pilot. ]

I'm en route. I'll explain the whole mess in person. Just... keep your damn hands to yourself until I get there, understood? I know it's a ship, but trust me, it's not big on playing nice.

...That's real comforting, Commander.

[It's obvious that he's still confused and unsure as he talks to her, unable to help but stare a bit.]

What am I, two? I'm not going to touch anything!

I'll remember you said that when you've got your hands all over the interface.

[ She knows you, Joker. Or rather, she knows how you feel about interstellar vessels. ]

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whoneedslegstofly - 2013-12-02 23:15 (UTC) - Expand

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femshep - 2013-12-02 23:20 (UTC) - Expand

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whoneedslegstofly - 2013-12-02 23:24 (UTC) - Expand

Well, there goes the neighbourhood.

[Kaidan's tone is one where the playful snark of the Bro Code is only partially masking more complex feelings at seeing Joker join their merry band of castaways. Having the Alliance's best pilot on hand (and someone who's as much a brother in arms as anoyone) as he tries to bring an incredibly powerful ship's AI back online is hardly a bad thing, but on the other...

Well. He's going to need a lot of alcohol. The backdrop behind him appears to be elsewhere on the ship, where a few terminal screens are scrolling a mix of standard roman characters and more esoteric alien script.]

The long version is something I'm not getting into without a beer in front of me. The short version is that there are things worse than Reapers out there, and now we get to try and save the fabric of reality from them.

[Well, this just keeps getting more and more interesting now doesn't it?]

...Right, so, about that beer?

[Because he's really going to need some. A lot of it actually.]

Also, your neighborhood sounds like it was fucked up before I got here so don't give me your crap!

You're not touched by my faith in your ability to ruin the neighbourhood? I'm wounded, Joker. Hurt. Right here. I thought we had something, man.

[But Kaidan glances up from the video feed as one of his consoles pings softly at him, and it's a moment before he comes back, a touch more serious.]

Give me another fifteen minutes with this, and I could probably borrow someone's truck for the trip into town. I usually ride the local answer to a motorbike, but it's not great for passengers.

Sorry, Kaidan. Normally I probably would be but..

[He frowns a bit.]

Not a big fan of having no fucking clue what's going on.

[The frown fades a bit and he nods slightly.]

Alright. Shepard--...one of the Shepards? Is on her way too.

I'll explain, but I make no promises it won't just make things more confusing. I've been here on Verdana about ten months now, by my count. Every step forward seems to mean two to the side and one into a box of angry varren.

[Or raptors. Kaidan rubs at one temple as if chasing away a headache that's too annoyingly metaphysical to respond to painkillers.]

But, ah... yeah, the dual Shepard thing. I'll try and explain that. Which one?

Edited 2013-12-06 04:27 (UTC)

Sounds like the story of my life. The whole confusing thing I mean. Not the box of Varren.

....That just doesn't sound all that pleasant now that I really think about it.

[Joker leans a bit more heavily against the wall, not liking how out of it Kaidan seems.]

Both now. The red head is familiar but she's got some bite to her. Not really familiar with that side of the commander. And the blonde one just contacted me--I really just don't get the blonde. It's weird!

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